TempleGreen

Poetry Springin' from My Soul!

2008-05-13T10:36:00.005-04:00

The Ceiling at the tomb of Hafiz
Photo from Roozbeh Taassob @ Wikimedia Commons

A couple of months ago I was reading Hafiz every morning to kick start my day. His poetry really helps to put a spring in my step, I highly recommend it. Anyway I began to notice some poetry sneaking into my journal writing and it was definitely Hafiz inspired stuff. I liked it so I thought that I would share it with all y'all! Let me know whatchya think.

Wherever I go,
the dance unfolds in front of me
like a lively
circus
of
light

As the joy deepens
I awaken to the sound of your heart beating
in my chest.

I open my eyes and giggle to see you...
wreaking silly havoc
all around
me!

Ahhhh Hafiz! You've gotten under my skin and into my heart & pen! Thanks for such incredible inspiration and love! Oh and Thanks to Daniel Ladinsky too! His translations channel your amazing grace!

Sending Y'all My Hearty Joy!

2008-02-20T14:37:00.015-05:00

For almost a year and a half I have had heart shapes appearing all around me. They started about six months after I watched "The Secret" for the first time. I've written about them in past posts, here and on LipstickHippie.com, so I'm not going into great detail about it here but you can see them if you search for "heart" on either blog. I just wanted to share a couple that I found recently. I don't photograph all of the hearts that I find but once in awhile I am inspired to grab my camara and document my crazy heart story!

This toothpaste heart I have tried to recreate and I haven't even come close. I was talking to my cousin on the telephone and getting ready to go out at the same time when I looked down and this little gem was looking back up at me! I took the photo while I was still on the phone with my cousin. The funny thing with this one was that we were talking about the hearts a few moments before this showed up. I'm glad that I use cinnamon toothpaste, it's so pretty! And check out the cloud heart in the column to your right (scroll up or down a bit, depending on when you read this.) That one is pretty amazing!

Saying Goodbye to Mae

2008-02-05T10:02:00.003-05:00

Years ago, when I was living in Santa Fe, I decided that I wanted to have a dog. I have a crazy parrot and he'd always been scared of other animals so I wanted to find a small dog that he could get used to more easily. I decided a Chihuahua or Chi mix would be perfect for Oscar and me so I went online and found Chihuahua Rescue and Transport. I filled out an adoption application and crossed my fingers. Shortly thereafter I received news of a scheduled visit from a CRT representative to make sure that my home was suitable for one of the rescued dogs. Two women and two Chihuahuas arrived at my home in the Spring of 2000 and one Chihuahua and two women left that day. I had not been told that they were bringing a potential dog so it was a wonderful surprise when Mae burst into my life bringing love and joy with her. The moment that she jumped out of the car she ran right to me as though she were arriving home after a long journey. The two women were flabbergasted because apparently this was not normal behavior for the dog they'd been calling "Mandy". The moment that I sat down that gorgeous little dog jumped from the floor, up into my lap and directly into my heart.

I found out that day that Mae had been found running by the side of the highway in Las Cruces, New Mexico by a kindly truck driver. Apparently she did not try to run away from the driver when he stopped to pick her up. Mae was a dog on a mission. She'd been terribly malnourished and she'd had heartworm and mange. Mae was taken in and healed of all of her maladies and then delivered to my door at the approximate age of seven and a half. Since that time she's driven across the country to NYC, she's flown to Miami, Austin, Paris and the Island of Capri in Italy. My wonderful little bean was adored by numerous people and animals all around the world.

On the morning of February 3rd, 2008, last Sunday, Mae went to the hospital and did not leave. Mae is in my heart and I take comfort in the feeling that we will most certainly meet again. I love you Mae, now and forever.

I lost my kitten, Little Buddy, almost exactly one year ago Below is an excerpt from a post I'd written at that time about dealing with pet loss;

I have found that some people do not understand the grief that I feel. "Psychologists have long recognized that the grief suffered by pet owners after their pet dies is the same as that experienced after the death of a person. The death of a pet means the loss of a non-judgmental love source." ~ Margaret Muns DVM

There are books about it and support websites to help with the grief and feelings of guilt. If any of you have lost a pet, and are finding that you feel tremendous grief and/or guilt, there are some links below that may help you. I find "The Rainbow Bridge" to be particularly comforting to read. It may sound silly but it does bring hope to my heart.

May you abide in joy one and all.

http://rainbowsbridge.com/Poem.htm

http://www.petloss.com/muns.htm

http://www.chihuahua-rescue.com/

Green Really is the New Black

2008-01-19T15:47:00.000-05:00

Going green basically means thinking in terms of lessening the waste that we create and creating less of an impact on our environment. There are many simple and manageable things that we can do everyday that add up to huge change. Saving electricity by unplugging any charger that is not in use is a great beginning. Changing to compact fluorescent light bulbs not only saves electricity but it also reduces the amount of waste because they do not need to be replaced as often as incandescent bulbs. Buying local... anything, saves petroleum and supports local business growth. Recycle your grocery bags or even better buy re-usable bags and put all of your old plastic bags in the re-cycling bins that are popping up in grocery stores and pharmacies. This saves a lot of plastic and it will also reduce the amount of plastic that is produced in the future. Of course turning off any lights or appliances that are not being used is so easy and yet so important. Turning off the faucet when you are not actually using the water. All of these things are great ways to begin to lessen our carbon footprint on this planet.

I have found that as I begin to do these small things my attitude towards waste is changing. Every time I am about to put something into the garbage I pause and ask myself if there is not perhaps another purpose for the item. Over the holidays I found so many ways to recycle that I'd never thought of before. I glued wrapping paper from presents received to cardboard from unusable gift boxes and then I cut them out, punched a hole in the top, put a piece of re-used ribbon through the hole and they became 100% recycled gift tags. Catalogs that I never wanted have become a wealth of images to collage into gift cards and boxes. Old wine bottles are turned into vases and water bottles for the dinner table. I have found that ideas just start popping into my head throughout the day. The amazing thing is that with most of my recycling and re-using I almost always end up saving time, money and gas. The idea of disposable anything should really cease to exist. Old t-shirts make great cleaning rags and cloth napkins add elegance to any meal while saving paper...

Alternative fuels and power sources are a piece of the puzzle but, contrary to popular belief, our petroleum burning cars are not the biggest culprit in global warming. Cows, sheep and other farm animals are contributing huge amounts of methane gas to the atmosphere through burps and flatulence. According to Sara Lewis of The Argus, cow's four chambered stomachs cause them to release enough methane in one day to fill 40 party balloons, from flatulence alone. Lewis goes on to report that one kilo of methane gas warms the earth 23 times as much as the same mass of carbon dioxide. Take a moment to consider the amount of wasted meat in grocery stores, in restaurants and in our own homes. So, in my opinion, one highly effective way to go green is to put a higher value on the meat that we eat. Buy local organic meat if you can, if not then purchase the highest quality meat and buy only what will be consumed. If we all begin to treat red meat as a luxury food item the number of methane emitting animals will lessen, the quality of the meat we buy will heighten and we will all be healthier to boot. Of course if you want to be really green then just stop eating meat altogether.

Our concept of recycling needs to grow far beyond bottles, cans, clothing and cell phones. Many people are wanting to build themselves brand new green homes but the reality is that when you take an old house and green it up you are recycling that house which is saving a huge amount of waste and energy. Driving a used car that runs on bio-diesel is a whole lot more sustainable than buying a brand new hybrid. We just simply need to let go of the idea that everything we own must be brand new. If every person on the planet bought a new car every year we would be living in a parking lot in no time at all. Perhaps it would help if we changed our perception of what it looks like to be successful. That should be really easy since green really is the new black, it's terribly cool to be green.

The long and short of it is, in my opinion, the best way to go green is the way that works best for each individual. Trying to do it all at once will likely result in overwhelm which generally leads to giving up. So start with the changes that seem manageable to you and grow from there. If you have the desire to change and you take the first steps, you will be amazed at the ideas and inspiration that will come to you. And last but certainly not least, share your ideas and your enthusiasm. Write, blog and talk about what you are doing. Be the example, the inspiration for others. "Be the change that you want to see in the world." - Mahatma Gandhi

Why Ask Why?

2007-12-10T19:36:00.001-05:00

Imagine if you deliberately paused for just a moment before choosing to take action and asked yourself why? What paths would change in your life? Today I paused before choosing angry words and instead I chose to express pain. Each action becomes more deliberate and has more meaning when we pause for even a millisecond to evaluate our choice. I choose my actions and my reactions and when I remember to choose consciously I lessen the drama and heighten the quality.

Oprah's Incredible Gift of Inspiration!

2007-11-10T13:04:00.000-05:00

My dvr is set to record Oprah every day so that later I may pick and choose which episodes I want to watch by reading the episode description. Recently I was baffled... an entire show dedicated to YouTube.com celebrities. It seemed pretty off the wall to me. So, of course, I decided to check it out and I am once again amazed by Oprah's vision, understanding and powers of inspiration. A topic that seemed at first to be trite and a little bizarre turned out to be incredibly moving and inspirational. Several people on the show were simply following their bliss and through the magic of YouTube.com their dreams and beyond became their reality in no time at all. It was a beautiful affirmation of the Law of Attraction. Self effort and grace will bring us more than we could ever hope for when we learn; how to truly allow ourselves to dream, how to ask for our dreams, and finally, how to love ourselves enough to allow our dreams to come true. It sounds easy but it does require a good deal of love for one's self, a plethora of faith, and a wee bit of motivation. Mix 'em up in your tummy and dreams will come true folks! And if at first you don't succeed keep on tryin' and I promise that when you get the recipe just right it really does work.

Power Animals! Who'd A Thunk It?

2007-09-28T10:11:00.000-04:00

I have been a creature lover since... the beginning of time! I love all creatures except for mosquitoes (sorry mosquitoes!). Once, when I was very young, I was strolling down the street with my family in Provincetown, MA when suddenly they realized I was no longer walking with them. (In those days this was not quite as alarming as it would be today.) My family backtracked and found me in a biker-y bar hugging a Great Dane. I saw him and just walked right in and latched on without so much as backwards glance! Also, I have always talked to creatures. Not like an animal communicator, I just talk to them. I like to think they get the drift but, if nothing more, I suppose that they feel my respect and love. It is my wish that every creature feel these things. Anyway, as usual, I digress and digress and...

If you've followed either of my blogs you will note that eagles come up quite often. I have a whole mess of em living near me and flyin' around above me. I see them pretty much every day now. I find that I actually feel incredibly strong feelings of love, gratitude, peace and joy when I see them. I also feel power surging through my being. Not wild raw power but what I can only describe as graceful liquid power. Often times I will see them when I am doing my yoga practice on the grass and it's like drinking a power drink. Seriously. I am not certain if my words do the experience justice. Alas! I only have my words to convey my feelings!

So, the other day several eagles came flying across the lake and I stopped to gaze upon their glory. I was pondering my infatuation with these majestic creatures and it occurred to me that eagles really and truly are my power animal! My mom had a boutique for many years that sold Native American art and 'stuff' and I've read plenty of books that include references to and stories about such things, so power animals are not a new concept for me. However, until I had this experience I honestly never really understood how real they actually are. I do indeed get power from seeing them. Whether they are 30 feet away or a mile I get the same intense jolt every single time I see them. It's very difficult to take my eyes away from them. Now, as much as I love creatures, I've never had this reaction before. I mentioned my revelation to my dad and he said that this had occurred to him as well.

Lately I see eagles almost everywhere I go, so far, in about a sixty mile radius. I see them pretty much every time I drive. Two or three times I've had one pause for like five to ten seconds directly above my head. They truly are masters of the wind! Sometimes they fly through the yard only twelve feet or so off the ground which is very cool. Finally, I'm sure this is not as fascinating for y'all as for me, one time I had one land on a tree close by. Amazingly I'd remembered my camera, which I grabbed and walked as closely as I could get to him/her (there was a fence between us). I talked to the beauty and snapped photos for about ten minutes. (That's him/her to the right.) I figured that eagles must be making some kind of a massive comeback but I looked online and so far I've found no information supporting an eagle boom.

I decided to write a little something about my experience so I jumped online and googled power animals and found a lot of interesting info. My favorite site is Shamanism ~ Working With Animal Spirits Core. They have a list of animals and their particular wisdom. It's a beautiful site and quite informative as well. Here is what the site says about Bald Eagle;

Bald Eagle's Wisdom Includes:

It's pretty cool. I actually do have really keen sight. When I go to the eye doctor they tell me to read until I can't read anymore and then they always stop me and tell me to stop showing off! I've been told my insight ain't too bad either! And as for the rest of the list, well, I definitely have the capacity for all of them and I would certainly like to cultivate those qualities and fully realize and embrace their potential in myself! What a truly wonderful life!

Through my further research on the subject I found out that we may have several power animals looking out for us and they can change over time. When we disconnect from one we may form a new bond with a new friend! I remembered having feelings similar to my eagle 'infatuation' with Pelicans, oddly enough! And at that time a Pelican landed about a foot away from me and just sat there for about ten minutes. I felt so incredibly privileged but I did not consider the possibility that he was a messenger or helper. Duh! So, today, I clicked on Pelican and here's what it said;

Pelican's Wisdom Includes:

I was going through a very difficult time with my (now) ex-husband when Pelican came to call. We were having some money troubles and I was beginning to see that he had some very serious personality issues that I'd not realized before. It's hard to explain but when I read this list the whole Pelican experience made sense to me. I still love Pelicans and I hope that they will always be here to help me out! So there you have it, gang, power animals are very real... So if you see a creature and have a strong emotional response, check out Shamanism ~ Working With Animal Spirits Core. They might have something very interesting to convey!

Finding My Inner Yogini

2007-09-21T13:09:00.000-04:00

I had my first Hatha Yoga experience somewhere around the age of eleven or twelve. I was visiting my father at the ashram where he was living. My cousin had introduced him to her Guru and he never looked back. From that time on he lived primarily in ashrams, in the United States as well as in India. Slowly family members began following his lead and soon my entire family were living at the ashram. The clothing in the ashram was extremely modest in those days, the Hatha Yoga teacher would wear a floor length skirt and a long sleeved blouse and the demonstrator usually wore a punjabi. I remember most clearly the guided savasana and the powerful effect that her words had on my body. I actually still use several of that teacher's phrases in my own relaxation. I can still hear her soft reassuring voice in my head as I guide myself into Savasana.

I have spent most of my life traveling and moving around, first with my family and then on my own. The longest time that I've spent living in an ashram was a little over two and a half years, I am the exception in my family. Anyway, it was during that particular time that I trained to be a Hatha Yoga teacher. For a brief period I taught my own classes but I preferred giving private lessons and adjusting for other teachers' classes. I do not really enjoy public speaking and simply feel more comfortable working one on one with people. At that time I was living in India and the rooms the teachers were given to practice in were in a beautiful small house surrounded by Plumeria trees. If you are unfamiliar with Plumeria trees they are flowering trees and the blooms are gorgeous and fragrant! It was a heavenly experience to be sure!

At that time I had a truly fantastic and wonderfully motivating teacher. His depth of understanding the body and the postures as well as his conveyance of that knowledge into his students' bodies is truly phenomenal. He has his own school now and I could not be happier or more grateful to have worked with him. Digressing! Since then I have moved numerous times and arisen from many an ash pile as the Phoenix reborn! Hatha Yoga pops in and out of my life like a good old friend that doesn't need constant attention to stay close to my heart. Also my old teacher's voice has never left my head. His words and his principles were so firmly planted in my body that every time I practice, if I focus, my body practically self adjusts!

About a year and a half ago I began to recreate myself yet again! I started keeping a gratitude journal, taking better care of my body and mind and meditating regularly again. I also started playing with my dog as a form of exercise which I highly recommend. After awhile playing with my dog opened out into really just spontaneous playing. I started skipping around and doing cartwheels and somersaults, like a young girl! In the winter, my precious pup and I would tumble and roll around in the snow. I learned that I could actually enjoy cold weather, which I never had before. It was amazing and inspiring and it helped me to open up my heart to my own self! Wah!

Finally this Spring I was playing with the dogs outside when suddenly I just felt like breakin' into Surya Namaskar... so I did. Now I do my practice outside, right on the grass, nearly every day and I have never enjoyed Hatha Yoga more. At 39 I feel more connected to my body, the postures and the shakti than I have ever felt before. I am also stronger and more flexible than I've ever been and people tell me I look fantastic, which isn't neccessary but it certainly feels good. Through the ebb and flow of my ever-changing life, I will always have Hatha Yoga to come home to. I've found my inner yogini this summer and though it's likely that she will disappear again I know she'll always be there when I truly need her. Sadgurunath Maharaj Ki Jai!

Aaah! The Power and Wisdom of Intention

2007-08-09T18:29:00.000-04:00

I first watched The Secret a little over a year ago. After my first viewing I watched it every day for over a month. I tried creating a vision board but ended up with a collage of a magical garden with a hummingbird and my teacher and Lakshmi hanging out with me and my best friend Pam. It's quite beautiful and everyone loved it so much that I made one for my mom for her birthday. I actually didn't really feel that I had accomplished what I had set out to do but I loved the collage and that was great.

At the same time I went through some magazines and picked out a few pages with photos of things that I wanted to change in my life. I only remember two of the pages one was a woman doing yoga and one was a photo of some healthy looking organic food. Lastly I wrote in a gratitude journal every day for a few months and then off and on for the past year or so. In my gratitude journal I write about the love that I feel radiating from inside and out. I express gratitude for my healthy, strong, lithe and beautiful body mind and spirit. I say thank you for the ease with which I walk through this life. There are other things but those are the constants.

Here I am about a year from the first time I watched The Secret. Let's see... I am doing yoga every day because I feel like doing it not because I feel I should be doing it. I feel stronger and more present in my postures than I ever have and I actually taught yoga many years ago! I eat almost entirely organic and my overall diet is much more healthy, again because I crave these foods now. I do my yoga practice in a garden where there are, I'm not kidding, two or three hummingbirds buzzing around and occasionally alighting on a branch near me. There is a baby bunny who pops out once in awhile and has actually fallen asleep near me. Majestic eagles soar above me almost every day. One day two baby deer were laying down in the field next to me quietly watching. Could this garden be any more magical? I find heart shapes everywhere. If you want to see a couple more of them go to this posting. You will likely be surprised. I still get these hearts all the time.

I am more relaxed and calm than I have ever been. My family and friends have all noted and praised the change in me. More importantly I have noted the change in me. After many years of being told that I must first love myself... I DO! I really do feel incredible love for myself. I still get the old crap rearing it's head occasionally but it has so much less power than ever before. I might listen for an hour or so now and then I just go outside and reconnect with myself and get back to creating my beautiful life. I am happy and grateful to be manifesting love, joy and magical gardens. Oh yes and, of course, a healthy, strong, lithe and beautiful body, mind and spirit!

I Saw Tammy Faye Doing Yoga

2007-07-27T10:22:00.000-04:00

Recently a TV program that I had recorded on my dvr ended and suddenly Tammy Faye's smiling face was in front of me, larger than life. I must say that I've always had a lot of respect for Tammy Faye, she was an amazing woman who radiated love and acceptance. And though I generally try to avoid wacky reality TV, I've found myself lingering on her televised escapades from time to time. She always seemed to me to be a lovely, kind and wonderfully kooky soul. (She passed away on July 20th, 2007. You go girl!) Anyway, I digress... a lot. The program was about the various ways that Tammy Faye was trying to heal herself. In the ten or fifteen minutes that I watched she had some acupressure done and she went to a yoga teacher to learn meditation. Her daughter Tammy Sue had suggested the yoga teacher. The last thing that I saw was Tammy Faye saying that, if nothing else, the yoga and meditation had definitely made the chemo easier for her to handle.

The next day, after my own yoga practice, I was meditating on the grass. Just as I was emerging my beagle, Duda, started barking wildly and went tearing off to the fence where a precious Puggle and the couple who were walking him stood. I looked back at them and the man smiled and gave a friendly wave so I waved back, got up and strolled over to say hello. The young couple, Dave and Sharon, were finishing up college in Long Island and they were up here, in the Catskills, visiting Dave's grandmother. We started conversing about rescues because both of my pups were rescues and Fleck was too. We discussed organic dog food and I was so pleased to hear of more dog owners who put a good deal of consideration into their dog's diet. After all, dogs deserve to enjoy their food and maintain good health too, we all agreed.

After awhile I invited them to bring Fleck into the yard to play with Duda for a bit. They did and we conversed awhile longer. We spoke about buying dog food from small company's which led to a discussion about corporation's which led to me telling them about the film The Corporation. Finally we talked about how amazing it is that people are really becoming more and more aware and awake. We all felt that the world around us really is changing in a positive way. Then I asked if they had seen The Secret. Sharon smiled and said that she had the book and she'd been lent a copy of the dvd by Dave's grandmother. Dave said that he hadn't watched it because he felt that he already believed these things and didn't need confirmation. I laughed and told Dave that I had a spiritual teacher since I was eleven and that I watched The Secret every day for over a month after seeing it for the first time. I explained the reason I loved it so much was not because it was new information to me, it really wasn't. The reason that I enjoyed it so much is that it confirms, for me, everything that I know in my heart to be true. It's really just a bunch of phenomenal teachers speaking from their heart and offering their knowledge from the work that they have done on themselves. The light in each of them is evident and when you put them all together in The Secret, the light is blinding. The reason that I watched it every day for over a month was because changing habits takes repetition, and I wanted to change some old habits! Thirty dollars is a bargain for a tool to help me with that, if you ask me.

A friend of mine told me that he had heard someone claim that The Secret was brainwashing. Well, sugar, I can't speak for anyone but myself but I will say this... Wash My Brain. Clean away the negative self talk, the low self esteem, the reveling in resentment and anger and the creepy desires to feel superior or inferior or whatever bizarre silliness my brain comes up with next. Bring on the brainwashing machine and wash away! I am ready to feel strong, empowered and joyful. And as a very pragmatic friend of mine said on the subject of The Secret, "Even if you don't end up getting everything that you are asking for, well, you just feel better about your life. What's to lose?" Yup, it's pretty much a win/win.

I warned you about my digressive tendencies! Back to Sharon and Dave and our conversation. Dave became excited to watch The Secret and said that he would do so that very evening. Our conversation turned again to how things are changing and people are growing and ideas are flowing. I mentioned that I had seen Tammy Faye getting acupressure and doing yoga and we discussed how wild that was. Also the popularity of The Secret and other such films. Not to mention the popularity of yoga, meditation and (so called) alternative therapies. I mentioned that I design t-shirts with the intention to inspire and bring joy. Sharon chimed in that my t-shirts would be great for Dave's grandmother to wear at her yoga class. lol

I can only speak from my perceptions and experience. In my 39 years I have watched public perceptions of yoga, meditation, (so called) alternative medicines and (so called) alternative lifestyles metamorphose from feared to tolerated to accepted to embraced. And I saw Tammy Faye doing yoga, baby! Rock on, Tammy Faye, wherever you are. Change is here and change is now and I want to express my gratitude to every person that intended this and every person who manifested this and continues to do so, including myself! We are on our way gang! Keep up the good work!

Allowing... Accepting with Love

2007-07-25T12:58:00.000-04:00

The other day when I was just beginning my hatha yoga practice on the soft grass in my neighbors back yard one of our resident eagles flew over. My neighbors have granted me access to their property which is quite lovely and brimming with magical loving energy. True. Their family were the only people to own the property (since Native Americans didn't claim ownership to land.) They are a wonderful, loving and accepting family and the land radiates with their energy. I paused my practice and sat down to enjoy the breathtaking sight of an eagle in flight. For me it literally takes my breath away to watch an eagle soaring majestically through the sky.

The eagle stuck around for longer than usual and was circling the lake when another eagle showed up and I watched mesmerized as they danced in the air like angels swooping, circling and swooping by each other. Wah! I felt such peace and joy to watch the beautiful couple playing amongst the clouds. As I sat in awe it occurred to me that the eagles flight appeared effortless. I examined the way they allowed the wind to do most of the work while they simply rode the currents. Then I started thinking about the past year and how many times I had seen images of birds in the clouds and actual birds and eagles had appeared at the most strategic moments. I suddenly realized that the message I was being given was a message of allowing.

I have tendencies towards pushing against things that I do not want. My mom was a huge activist and did get a lot that she set out to do accomplished. She is warm and loving as well as strong and intense and I love very much. However I watched her and other activists push against the world to little avail. I have not become a grand activist like my mother but I do still have the tendency in me to think in this manner. I see things I do not like and I want to scream and yell. Sometimes I have, it hasn't been terribly effective. lol Sometimes I look around and I am furious with the things that have manifested in this world. Normally rage turned to despair and I was wracked with pain over things that I could not fix.

So as I watched the eagles dance above the lake I decided that allowing was my new game. It isn't really new, per se, just newly renovated. It is almost the same as self effort and grace (funny I just realized that my design for that of course is a heart with large multi-colored wings) but allowing is even more. I frequently become agitated when people drive past my house very quickly and recklessly. I live on a small country road and there are many creatures and people walking on the road. Now whenever someone drives by in this manner I focus my energy and think to myself that I am a peace bomb. I watch the peaceful energy radiate from me like a nuclear blast and I watch it roll over the car. It is so much nicer than becoming agitated. I don't know if people are driving any more reasonably but I will say that I now see police cars driving by more often and for sure that will help! Yay for the peace bomb!

Another experience I had was when I was driving and in a hurry one day. I was becoming quite irritated with the cars around me and it did not feel good. So I decided to try something new. I started chanting "Vitthale, Vitthale, Vitthale, Vitthale, Jai Jai Vitthale!" which is one of my favorite chants. It is lively, fun and it fills me with joy. As I chanted I thought to myself how much better I felt in only moments and I realized that my hurrying was completely unnecessary. I felt so powerful at that moment. I do not have to be controlled by my emotions. I can allow the world around me to just be okay the way it is right now and I can allow myself to be happy and okay. I can do that.

I do not mean to say that I want to walk through this life blind to the things that I am not wanting. I still am striving to be the change that I want to see in the world. I am just doing it in a much more happy and relaxed state of being! Jai Jai Vitthale!

Growing into Freedom

2007-06-29T08:56:00.001-04:00

I remember riding in the car as a young child and staring, with the focus of a mind reader, at the passing billboards and signs trying to decipher their meaning. I was desperate to learn how to read so when I finally did conquer the mysteries of the written word I ate up books like candy. I joyfully devoured Greek mythology and then I moved on to Roman mythology. I was not as impressed with Roman mythology but I read on regardless. I just really enjoyed reading myths for some reason. When I was about eight years old my family began attending church services on a regular basis. Of course I read the Bible stories and I guess because of my love of mythology I understood them to be Christian mythology. The lessons were kind of similar and the stories were fantastical much like the other myths that I had read. And then going to church seemed to be mostly a social affair with some lecturing and advice thrown in for good measure. Oddly enough, I don't remember ever really thinking that seriously about God when I was in church. Perhaps for these reasons or perhaps because it was simply not my destiny, or karma, Christianity never really clicked with me. Though I did enjoy the experience and I even got to be an acolyte a for a short while which was great fun.

I met my spiritual teacher when I was about twelve. The experience of my spiritual awakening was not a cosmic circus of blue lights and levitation. It was a profound relief and a feeling that I had finally come home. Eastern philosophy was a new path for me but it didn't feel new, it felt completely natural. There were wonderful stories to enjoy on this path as well but the experience of the Truth was the paramount goal and the methods to attain that goal were quite enjoyable for the most part. I was never an early bird but, luckily for me, I didn't have to be. I must admit that meditating did not always come easily to me. In fact it took me many years to actually crave meditation on a regular basis. Chanting, on the other hand, was heavenly and I could do it anytime and anywhere.

The first chant that I ever attended was Hare Krishna. I was eleven when my dad had brought my sister and I to an ashram for the first time. My cousin had introduced him to the guru and he was pretty much instantly absorbed into his spiritual path. I remember the chanting hall was dimly lit and smelled of sandalwood incense which at the time seemed wonderfully mystical and exotic. I think I tried to follow along for awhile but it was late and I was tired so my dad wrapped me in a blanket and I laid my head in his lap and fell fast asleep. It was the most glorious sleep that I had ever experienced not to mention one of my favorite memories of time spent with dad.

Some months after I returned home from that journey my brother, I think it was my brother, sent me; a photo of the guru, a tape of a slow chant and a beautiful little puja rug. It was a wonderful gift and I put it all to great use. I cleared out half of my closet and created a tiny chanting cave or sacred space if you will. I remember going into my little cave and chanting with great abandon and then dutifully trying to meditate. And so started my spiritual journey. I met my teacher about a year later.

My dad had begun traveling with the guru so visiting dad became a visit to the ashram. There were programs held every evening at that time which included chanting, meditation and spiritual discourse. We did seva, aka selfless service, for a couple of hours a day and sometimes there were Hatha Yoga classes. Spirituality was infused into every aspect of daily life. At the end of every evening program there was darshan, which was a time when one had the opportunity to go in front of the guru and ask a question, just say hello or whatever. As a child, darshan was an especially wonderful experience. I just soaked in the love that poured out of Baba. For me he was a bit like a really loving grandfather whose gifts were far greater than any toy or bauble. Although he did, often times, actually give people presents to boot.
The understanding of God and spirituality at the ashram clicked for me in a way that I had not felt before. That being said, I also was certainly no 'little miss dharmic yogini' neither as a child nor as a teen. I ebbed and flowed like any youngster does... I guess I still do! Ha! Anyway, most of my family ended up living in the ashram or traveling with the guru for many years. My cousin, one sister and my dad lived in this way for over twenty years. My mom and other siblings each for somewhere between ten and twenty years.

The longest period of time that I lived in an ashram was just under three years. For me this was a record! In the past thirty years I haven't lived consistently in any one place for longer than six years and most places for less than three. Not since I left Philadelphia at the ripe old age of nine! I digress... Each time, however brief or long, that I lived in the ashram brought more insights and understanding. Each time that I lived outside of the ashram gave me the opportunity to utilize my new tools. My last extended stay at the ashram my teacher told me that I would have to start looking to my inner guru for answers. It was somewhat frightening but overall an empowering experience to hear those words from my guru who had given me such wonderful guidance for so many years.

That was about thirteen years ago. In the past thirteen years I have continued ebbing and flowing my way towards my true self. Every year the insights seem to be more plentiful and more frequent. I find inspiration in some pretty unusual places and I am learning how to guide and choose my feelings. I am starting to understand, after all of these years, how to truly love and acknowledge myself. I feel my connection so strongly and so much more consistently than I ever have before. Almost as if it was the most natural state in the cosmos! Go figure...

A few weeks ago I was contemplating an idea for a design based on freedom. (I create designs for t-shirts and gifty stuff) I was thinking about an eagle because I actually have a couple of eagles nesting not too far from me and every time that I see them I feel such a rush of joy and awe. So anyway, as I was thinking about what I wanted to do, "Freedom is a choice" popped into my head. (It's an adaptation of an Abraham Lincoln quote; "Happiness is a choice.") As I contemplated those words I felt very light. Freedom really is a choice. I realized that for the past nine months or so I have been actively working on choosing freedom. Freedom from my habits. Freedom from speculation. Freedom from my inner critic. Freedom from the part of me that wants to be right.
I am finding that it gets easier with time. I still have all of the unwanted thoughts popping into my head but the difference is I choose not to engage with them nearly as often as I used to. I am learning and creating tools to allow them to pop right back out again so that I can focus on the truth. I already am free. I just have to choose and be present in my freedom so I can enjoy the ride and continue with the business of creating my beautiful life.

Be the Change!

2007-04-15T18:20:00.000-04:00

I recently had an interesting conversation with a bellhop in Austin,Texas. We were discussing politics and the condition of our government. He spoke quite a bit about all of the changes that needed to be made and how our politicians were to blame for not fixing these things. As he spoke it occurred to me that people say this all the time, they complain that our politicians are doing nothing to change the things that we want changed. Well as I see things it's the people, myself included, who are not doing what is necessary to change things. Change comes from an exchange of ideas, it comes from inner resolve and from daily actions. Change does not come from simply voting for the guy who makes the best speeches or who looks good on paper. For the love of Pete, people, change comes from growth and learning. If you want a change then you best be prepared to walk your talk. If you want the world to be a better place then you better start with your very own little universe, my friend. Even better, start with your own body! Eat healthier food, exercise and learn how to be emotionally healthy. Be an example for your friends and family. Treat others the way that you wish to be treated. In fact, start treating yourself the way you wish to be treated! "Be the change that you want to see in the world!" ~ Mahatma Gandhi. I really don't think that it could be stated with a whole heck of a lot more clarity than that, folks.
We all need to buck it up and become our own role models. That's how we can change this country. People, much like animals, learn from example. What would you think if I told you that you should really quit smoking while I puffed away on my pipe? Don't we do this sort of thing all the time. I know that I sure as heck do. Where as I can honestly say that I really started changing my eating habits from watching my friends and family becoming almost exclusively organic food shoppers. And that is in fact probably one of the best examples I could give. Many people are changing their diets in the same way. That has changed not only our local grocery stores but also the huge corporations. Walmart now carries organic produce and products. In fact, they carry Newman's Own, another fantastic example. Who'd a thunk it?
So if you get the urge to complain about things that you are not happy about in this world... Well, perhaps you might consider what small or large action you can take, in your life, to counterbalance those things. Be the change, people. There is no better or faster way to get there. Oh and also remember that we all live in glass houses so please put the stones down.
My rockin' cool girlfriend, Monty, made a simple gesture recently that was absolutely brilliant in my mind. She was speaking to a friend of hers about their kid's education. Her friend said that she wanted her son's education to be... and she raised her hand up high, gesturing high level and a cut above. Monty, dang I love her so much, said, "Well, I want my son's education to be..." and she threw her arms wide in a gesture of expansion and inclusion. Right on, girl! How fantastic would this world be if more parents thought like that. Just imagine...
And on the subject of education, I recently watched a brilliant show on the Sundance Channel called Iconoclasts. In one of the episodes they filmed Mikhail Baryshnikov and Alice Waters hanging out together and discussing... stuff. Alice Waters started a program called The Edible Schoolyard in Oakland, CA. The mission of the Edible Schoolyard at Martin Luther King, Jr. Middle School is to create and sustain an organic garden and landscape that is wholly integrated into the school's curriculum and lunch program. It involves the students in all aspects of farming the garden – along with preparing, serving and eating the food – as a means of awakening their senses and encouraging awareness and appreciation of the transformative values of nourishment, community, and stewardship of the land.
Okay, I have to say that Alice Waters is super fabulous in my book. A couple of things that she said, in Iconoclasts, really hit me. The first thing was about the shopping habits of this day and age. We don't mind spending inordinate amounts of time and money on shopping for clothing, cars and so called luxury items. Yet somehow we want our food shopping to be fast, convenient and cheap. We will put things in our bodies that are of the lowest quality to save time and money. Believe me I ain't throwin' any stones here, I'm as guilty as the next culprit. (Although I have made some changes in the past few years.) Alice preaches eating fresh, local and seasonal foods whenever possible. I can't argue with that. She also spoke about buying from people or companies that have similar values to your own. Well gee, that actually used to be the norm, right? Food for thought!

Here are some pertinent links:

Looking for some way to help? Charity Focus is designed to enable inspired people to contribute in meaningful ways to the world around us. Find your calling @
http://www.bethechange.org/

Interested in finding out more about Alice Waters and Edible Schoolyard?
http://www.edibleschoolyard.org

Looking for greener choices? Here are some consumer guides to help you out:
http://www.voiceyourself.com - Woody Harrelson's how to be a better person site. Fantastic!
http://www.greenerchoices.org - From Consumer Reports - To help you go green!
http://www.newdream.org - Conscious Consumer Home - Green and Socially Aware!

You might be interested to know how Mikhail Baryshnikov is contributing to the arts.
http://www.baryshnikovdancefoundation.org/

Fantastic Gifts

2007-04-13T10:24:00.000-04:00

My best friend Pam is one awesome lady. She gave me an early birthday present that was truly fantastic. She gave me an appointment with her "pet communicator". I honestly wasn't entirely sure what to expect... I knew that it would be very interesting but I had no idea how relieving it would be. Y'all might think I am crazy (pardon my y'alls I just returned from Austin) and that's fine, I am proud of my kookiness. I will tell you right now that I am 100% certain that she was speaking to my Little Buddy and my precious lil' geriatric Chihuahua, Mae.
Patty started our phone conversation with some very poignant messages from my Little Buddy, who recently passed at the way too early age of four months. All that I can tell you is that I cried a lot and I did receive some answers too. After I asked a few questions of Buddy I moved on to Mae. I asked Patty to ask her if she minded very much staying with my Mom (who is the only person that she will stay with at all.) Her answer truly floored me. First she said no, that she did not mind, and then she said that she likes chicken. My Mom feeds her chicken every single time that Mae stays with her. When I pick her up after a visit she always laughs and tells me how much Mae enjoyed her chicken.
Patty also gave me some very helpful information about Mae's health and comfort. She recommended that Mae see an animal chiropractor or acupuncturist or both. She also mentioned some flower essences that might help with some of her issues. All in all it was an amazing experience that I will most certainly revisit. My next appointment will focus on my crazy feather pluckin' parrot, Oscar. I look forward to speaking with Patty again. Oh and, by the way, she's also a really cool person to chat with. If you love animals then you'll surely love Patty, she totally rocks!
The conversation with my Lil' Buddy have alleviated a huge amount of my grief. I still miss him, but when I think about him now I am able to focus on the warmth and joy that his presence in my life gave me so readily. I personally believe in reincarnation and I am quite certain that B will come back to me. That being said I also feel his love in my heart right this very minute too. His passing was a hard core test of my emergency dealing system as well as my belief system. My conversation with Patty helped me remember my Truth and put it more firmly into my 'bones' if you will.

Abide in Joy!

http://www.psanimal.com/

Emotional Rescue

2007-03-12T12:56:00.000-04:00

Tragedy struck my happy little universe a few weeks ago. My precious itty bitty kitty, Buddy-Licious, injured his back and two days later his beautiful soul was released from his tiny body, by way of injection, at a hospital in New Jersey. It was a very trying ordeal and the week following was no picnic either. Just so you know, Buddy was an amazing little kitty who stole the heart of anyone who dared cross his path. He was the most wonderfully affectionate little creature I have ever met and as you can see from his photo he was one of the cutest as well. So anyway, needless to say, I have been grieving pretty intensely. As I walk around my house I can see my precious B running around after me, sleeping, eating and playing. The memories tear my heart. In the beginning I simply could not stop crying, well sobbing actually. I am reasonably certain that my B has moved on to do his good work elsewhere and he is fine, I just miss him like crazy.

At first I felt that all joy had evacuated from my life, never to return. The anguish engulfed, or rather I allowed the anguish to engulf me. I did not have control over the feelings of loss and sadness. However, I absolutely did had control over the degree of control that I allowed them to have over me. I witnessed my grieving and began to feel the need to reign it in before it turned into a bout of depression. So, I began writing in my gratitude journal again. I started by writing a thank you letter to Little Buddy for the incredible gift of his love and joyful presence. I cried but I also felt intense gratitude which has begun to heal my aching heart.

Several days later I was having a conversation with a friend about gratitude among other things. In the middle of the conversation I suddenly understood one of the lessons that I could choose to take from my Little Buddy's passing. For some time I had been making a conscious choice to live a joy-filled life. I had decided to choose happiness and joy and gratitude as a way of life. When everything was reasonably good it was an easy choice. I had truly started to become a more tolerant, relaxed and happy person. Everything really seemed to go my way. When my precious B died it felt as though the rug had been pulled from under my feet. I felt that I was being punished for something that I had done. My mind tried to go there but, thank goodness, I did not allow it to take up residence. I cycled through the different stages of grieving. (I still am actually.) I felt the pain that felt like it was killing me... and then I came out the other side. I won that battle.

I feel sadness when I remember having my Little Buddy constantly around me. Sometimes a lot and sometimes not as much. I will probably miss him forever. My dear old Dad still misses his childhood pup Skippy and he's in his seventies. But, even so, I choose to live a life of joy and gratitude and it's not dependant on everything always going my way. It's dependant on absolutely nothing. It's a choice that I must recommit to on a daily basis. It's a choice that I must honor. It's a choice that I must work for and allow. Now that choice is coming to my emotional rescue when I most need it. Yay for me! I have not lost my way in the forest of my grief and anguish. I am spending the time that I need to there and then I am coming back out into the light again. Kinda like a healthy person... amazing!

Thank you B, you made my life a better place. I miss you like crazy and I will always be grateful for the short time that I had with you my Angel Buddy.

I have found that some people do not understand the grief that I feel. "Psychologists have long recognized that the grief suffered by pet owners after their pet dies is the same as that experienced after the death of a person. The death of a pet means the loss of a non-judgmental love source." ~ Margaret Muns DVM

There are books about it and support websites to help with the grief and feelings of guilt. If any of you have lost a pet, and are finding that you feel tremendous grief and/or guilt, there are some links below that may help you. I find "The Rainbow Bridge" to be particularly comforting to read. It may sound silly but it does bring hope to my heart.

May you abide in joy one and all.

http://rainbowsbridge.com/Poem.htm

http://www.petloss.com/muns.htm

http://www.petloss.com/dealing.htm

Love from Above and Below

2007-02-22T17:08:00.000-05:00

I had a glorious day today. As I sat to write in my Gratitude Journal my itty bitty kittie, Little Buddy, came to my feet and let out a tiny mew. I picked him up and held him like a baby in my arms. His little body offered no resistance. He flopped back and proceeded to fall into a deep sleep in the crook of my arm. Gratitude poured out of my soul and I felt a couple of joy filled tears running down my cheek. I was moved by his complete trust and I felt totally loved.

A little later on I was walking by the lake with my Beagle, Duda, and listening to a really beautiful Coldplay song, "The Speed Of Sound". The lyrics I was listening to go a little something like this:

"Birds came flying at the speed of sound to show you how it all began. Birds came flying from the underground if you could see it you would understand. When you see it you will understand."

The song and particularly these lyrics really move me. I stopped to admire the beautiful scenery with the perfect soundtrack and Duda sat at my feet. As we gazed at the beauty of the far end of the lake, where it meets the trees and sky, I felt a deep quiet joy. I imagined the birds flying out of the lake at the speed of sound to enlighten the world! I looked up at the sky where these birds would be soaring and lo and behold there was a huge cloud in the shape of a soaring bird spanning almost the entire sky. I had to step back. I felt so incredibly loved and I felt so much gratitude that I full on cried tears of utter bliss. I'm not makin' this up gang it happened.

My friends, That is one pretty fantastic day in my book. As if that was not enough, for the next couple of weeks everywhere I looked were heart shapes. The first one was a piece of old wood emerging from the melting snow. I wish I had taken a photo of that, it was stunning. Then my friend Tina was over and she pointed out a piece of stuffing from one of Duda's toys that she had unceremoniously pulled out. It was a perfect heart shape. (The photo you see above.) I only got photos of four or five of these hearts but you get the point. The heart cloud photo doesn't even capture the perfection of the heart shape when I first saw it! The funniest was the dog pee heart you see here.
Although I must say that the fried calamari heart that came to my friend Mario and I, in the marinara sauce, was also pretty stellar! I ate that heart, of course, but not before taking a photo with my phone... Crazy? Perhaps... but there is never a dull moment in this girl's life. And you can take that to the bank folks!

http://www.amazon.com/X-Y-Coldplay/

http://www.templegreen.com

Self Effort & Grace

2007-02-22T16:42:00.000-05:00

My teacher once spoke about self effort and grace being the two wings of the bird. I don't know that I really understood what she meant at the time but it got filed away for subsequent review.

Well that review came when I found myself desperately trying to get work as an assistant stylist in NYC. (Which was for me and is generally a freelance position.) I did all of the footwork. I made all of the phone calls, saw all of the people... I did everything I could possibly do to no avail. I started to feel really desperate.

Finally one day I went for a walk and while I walked I prayed to my teacher. I told her that I really needed to work. I said that I didn't even care what kind of work it was I just needed to make some freakin' money! I poured my heart out to her and then I just let it go. I was gone for about twenty minutes. I arrived home and as I was turning the front doorknob I heard the phone ring. I opened the door jumped over my roommate on the couch and answered the phone. It was a woman I had never met before offering me an assistant styling job in Phoenix, Arizona for two weeks. Oh, and we stayed at The Biltmore and it was fabulous!

About six months later I found myself in the same predicament. Late one night just before bed I was reading Jnaneshwar's Gita. I don't remember the exact passage but it related to giving up doer-ship to God. So, I silently stated that I was giving up my job search to God and drifted off to sleep.

I awoke the next morning to a phone call from a stylist. She hired me virtually without references or even an interview. All of her previous assistants had been named Jennifer and she knew that I was her next Jennifer. We have been best friends ever since and she is one of the best people that I have ever known.

Another six months went by and again I found myself jobless for over a month. My dear old Dad was over for a visit and we were talking about my previous experiences. He told me, "Come on Jen just do it again!"
So I said out loud, "Okay, I give it up to God!"
We went to lunch and as we were walking home I received a page. We stopped at a pay phone and sure enough...

Self effort and grace... It's not easy but if you get it right you can almost set your watch by it.

http://www.amazon.com/Jnaneshwars-Gita

http://www.hinduonnet.com/2001/09/25/stories/10250906.htm

http://www.templegreen.com

Gratitude Revisited

2007-02-19T14:54:00.000-05:00

You might think this topic would be more appropriate at Thanksgiving time... I beg to differ. This is a year round topic, it is a New Years Resolution topic. I don't generally do New Years Resolutions but this year will be my first really genuine one.

Many years ago I was living in an ashram in India. One sunny day I was sitting in a beautiful marble courtyard listening to my teacher who was giving a talk on the subject of gratitude. I became increasingly intrigued as she spoke about the joy that true gratitude offers. She told us that this was a spiritual experience that could be cultivated over time. I really wanted the experience that she described. So, I decided to attempt to cultivate the experience of gratitude. Every day I would approach my teacher and as I placed my head on the floor in front of her I said silently to myself, "Thank you!". It was no stretch to feel grateful to my teacher, I already felt that, but that feeling was not exactly what she had described in her talk. Still it made my chosen task pretty easy. About two weeks after I'd begun my silent gratitude I went and placed my head at the feet of my teacher and I said my silent "thank you" as always. This time, however, I received a burst of joy that would melt any heart, perhaps every heart on the planet!

After I got up and moved myself along I went to a chant that I attended every day at that time. I was giddy with joy as I looked around the room. Every person I saw glowed with golden light, I am not joking, golden light! I swear to God that for the next few weeks I was completely filled with love and joy. It was such a wonderful and powerful experience that when I contemplate it, even all these years later, I start to feel the joy again. It really gave me insight into the whole count your blessings thing. And yet oddly enough I somehow forgot about it again for quite a few years.

Then I bought the dvd "The Secret" and it re-opened the subject. I watched it every day for over a month. It completely changed my outlook which at the time was not fantastic. It was exactly the spiritual boost I had been looking for. Phew! Out of that experience came my gratitude journal. I decided that the only way that I would be able to maintain the practice of counting my blessings every day would be to write them down. I took direction from my past experience and of course from "The Secret" teachers and I started writing "Thank You for..." in a journal. I have been doing it every day since. Not because I feel obligated but because I feel freakin' amazing! On days when I do not feel 'juiced' I read what I have written on previous days and boy does that juice start flowing! Then I write a few pages and you cannot believe what a powerful and fantastic practice this is.

If you don't know what I am talking about then try it. Get a journal and just start writing about the things that you are grateful for every day. See what happens! You will be truly amazed. Also check out "The Secret" if by some remarkable chance you haven't already. I was so inspired that I started a new business designing t-shirts.(TempleGreen.Com) I have never been more joyful and at ease, for this extended a period of time, in my entire life. I take "Follow Your Bliss" very seriously these days. Well... seriously may not be the best word, I try not to take anything too seriously. I'll just say that I definitely follow my bliss now and it feels pretty darn fantastic!

http://www.thesecret.tv/

http://www.jcf.org/bliss.php

http://www.todoinstitute.org/gratitude.htm

http://www.templegreen.com