Sending Y'all My Hearty Joy!

For almost a year and a half I have had heart shapes appearing all around me. They started about six months after I watched "The Secret" for the first time. I've written about them in past posts, here and on LipstickHippie.com, so I'm not going into great detail about it here but you can see them if you search for "heart" on either blog. I just wanted to share a couple that I found recently. I don't photograph all of the hearts that I find but once in awhile I am inspired to grab my camara and document my crazy heart story!


This toothpaste heart I have tried to recreate and I haven't even come close. I was talking to my cousin on the telephone and getting ready to go out at the same time when I looked down and this little gem was looking back up at me! I took the photo while I was still on the phone with my cousin. The funny thing with this one was that we were talking about the hearts a few moments before this showed up. I'm glad that I use cinnamon toothpaste, it's so pretty! And check out the cloud heart in the column to your right (scroll up or down a bit, depending on when you read this.) That one is pretty amazing!

Finding My Inner Yogini

I had my first Hatha Yoga experience somewhere around the age of eleven or twelve. I was visiting my father at the ashram where he was living. My cousin had introduced him to her Guru and he never looked back. From that time on he lived primarily in ashrams, in the United States as well as in India. Slowly family members began following his lead and soon my entire family were living at the ashram. The clothing in the ashram was extremely modest in those days, the Hatha Yoga teacher would wear a floor length skirt and a long sleeved blouse and the demonstrator usually wore a punjabi. I remember most clearly the guided savasana and the powerful effect that her words had on my body. I actually still use several of that teacher's phrases in my own relaxation. I can still hear her soft reassuring voice in my head as I guide myself into Savasana.

I have spent most of my life traveling and moving around, first with my family and then on my own. The longest time that I've spent living in an ashram was a little over two and a half years, I am the exception in my family. Anyway, it was during that particular time that I trained to be a Hatha Yoga teacher. For a brief period I taught my own classes but I preferred giving private lessons and adjusting for other teachers' classes. I do not really enjoy public speaking and simply feel more comfortable working one on one with people. At that time I was living in India and the rooms the teachers were given to practice in were in a beautiful small house surrounded by Plumeria trees. If you are unfamiliar with Plumeria trees they are flowering trees and the blooms are gorgeous and fragrant! It was a heavenly experience to be sure!

At that time I had a truly fantastic and wonderfully motivating teacher. His depth of understanding the body and the postures as well as his conveyance of that knowledge into his students' bodies is truly phenomenal. He has his own school now and I could not be happier or more grateful to have worked with him. Digressing! Since then I have moved numerous times and arisen from many an ash pile as the Phoenix reborn! Hatha Yoga pops in and out of my life like a good old friend that doesn't need constant attention to stay close to my heart. Also my old teacher's voice has never left my head. His words and his principles were so firmly planted in my body that every time I practice, if I focus, my body practically self adjusts!

About a year and a half ago I began to recreate myself yet again! I started keeping a gratitude journal, taking better care of my body and mind and meditating regularly again. I also started playing with my dog as a form of exercise which I highly recommend. After awhile playing with my dog opened out into really just spontaneous playing. I started skipping around and doing cartwheels and somersaults, like a young girl! In the winter, my precious pup and I would tumble and roll around in the snow. I learned that I could actually enjoy cold weather, which I never had before. It was amazing and inspiring and it helped me to open up my heart to my own self! Wah!

Finally this Spring I was playing with the dogs outside when suddenly I just felt like breakin' into Surya Namaskar... so I did. Now I do my practice outside, right on the grass, nearly every day and I have never enjoyed Hatha Yoga more. At 39 I feel more connected to my body, the postures and the shakti than I have ever felt before. I am also stronger and more flexible than I've ever been and people tell me I look fantastic, which isn't neccessary but it certainly feels good. Through the ebb and flow of my ever-changing life, I will always have Hatha Yoga to come home to. I've found my inner yogini this summer and though it's likely that she will disappear again I know she'll always be there when I truly need her. Sadgurunath Maharaj Ki Jai!

Aaah! The Power and Wisdom of Intention

I first watched The Secret a little over a year ago. After my first viewing I watched it every day for over a month. I tried creating a vision board but ended up with a collage of a magical garden with a hummingbird and my teacher and Lakshmi hanging out with me and my best friend Pam. It's quite beautiful and everyone loved it so much that I made one for my mom for her birthday. I actually didn't really feel that I had accomplished what I had set out to do but I loved the collage and that was great.

At the same time I went through some magazines and picked out a few pages with photos of things that I wanted to change in my life. I only remember two of the pages one was a woman doing yoga and one was a photo of some healthy looking organic food. Lastly I wrote in a gratitude journal every day for a few months and then off and on for the past year or so. In my gratitude journal I write about the love that I feel radiating from inside and out. I express gratitude for my healthy, strong, lithe and beautiful body mind and spirit. I say thank you for the ease with which I walk through this life. There are other things but those are the constants.

Here I am about a year from the first time I watched The Secret. Let's see... I am doing yoga every day because I feel like doing it not because I feel I should be doing it. I feel stronger and more present in my postures than I ever have and I actually taught yoga many years ago! I eat almost entirely organic and my overall diet is much more healthy, again because I crave these foods now. I do my yoga practice in a garden where there are, I'm not kidding, two or three hummingbirds buzzing around and occasionally alighting on a branch near me. There is a baby bunny who pops out once in awhile and has actually fallen asleep near me. Majestic eagles soar above me almost every day. One day two baby deer were laying down in the field next to me quietly watching. Could this garden be any more magical? I find heart shapes everywhere. If you want to see a couple more of them go to this posting. You will likely be surprised. I still get these hearts all the time.

I am more relaxed and calm than I have ever been. My family and friends have all noted and praised the change in me. More importantly I have noted the change in me. After many years of being told that I must first love myself... I DO! I really do feel incredible love for myself. I still get the old crap rearing it's head occasionally but it has so much less power than ever before. I might listen for an hour or so now and then I just go outside and reconnect with myself and get back to creating my beautiful life. I am happy and grateful to be manifesting love, joy and magical gardens. Oh yes and, of course, a healthy, strong, lithe and beautiful body, mind and spirit!

Emotional Rescue

Tragedy struck my happy little universe a few weeks ago. My precious itty bitty kitty, Buddy-Licious, injured his back and two days later his beautiful soul was released from his tiny body, by way of injection, at a hospital in New Jersey. It was a very trying ordeal and the week following was no picnic either. Just so you know, Buddy was an amazing little kitty who stole the heart of anyone who dared cross his path. He was the most wonderfully affectionate little creature I have ever met and as you can see from his photo he was one of the cutest as well. So anyway, needless to say, I have been grieving pretty intensely. As I walk around my house I can see my precious B running around after me, sleeping, eating and playing. The memories tear my heart. In the beginning I simply could not stop crying, well sobbing actually. I am reasonably certain that my B has moved on to do his good work elsewhere and he is fine, I just miss him like crazy.

At first I felt that all joy had evacuated from my life, never to return. The anguish engulfed, or rather I allowed the anguish to engulf me. I did not have control over the feelings of loss and sadness. However, I absolutely did had control over the degree of control that I allowed them to have over me. I witnessed my grieving and began to feel the need to reign it in before it turned into a bout of depression. So, I began writing in my gratitude journal again. I started by writing a thank you letter to Little Buddy for the incredible gift of his love and joyful presence. I cried but I also felt intense gratitude which has begun to heal my aching heart.

Several days later I was having a conversation with a friend about gratitude among other things. In the middle of the conversation I suddenly understood one of the lessons that I could choose to take from my Little Buddy's passing. For some time I had been making a conscious choice to live a joy-filled life. I had decided to choose happiness and joy and gratitude as a way of life. When everything was reasonably good it was an easy choice. I had truly started to become a more tolerant, relaxed and happy person. Everything really seemed to go my way. When my precious B died it felt as though the rug had been pulled from under my feet. I felt that I was being punished for something that I had done. My mind tried to go there but, thank goodness, I did not allow it to take up residence. I cycled through the different stages of grieving. (I still am actually.) I felt the pain that felt like it was killing me... and then I came out the other side. I won that battle.

I feel sadness when I remember having my Little Buddy constantly around me. Sometimes a lot and sometimes not as much. I will probably miss him forever. My dear old Dad still misses his childhood pup Skippy and he's in his seventies. But, even so, I choose to live a life of joy and gratitude and it's not dependant on everything always going my way. It's dependant on absolutely nothing. It's a choice that I must recommit to on a daily basis. It's a choice that I must honor. It's a choice that I must work for and allow. Now that choice is coming to my emotional rescue when I most need it. Yay for me! I have not lost my way in the forest of my grief and anguish. I am spending the time that I need to there and then I am coming back out into the light again. Kinda like a healthy person... amazing!

Thank you B, you made my life a better place. I miss you like crazy and I will always be grateful for the short time that I had with you my Angel Buddy.

I have found that some people do not understand the grief that I feel. "Psychologists have long recognized that the grief suffered by pet owners after their pet dies is the same as that experienced after the death of a person. The death of a pet means the loss of a non-judgmental love source." ~ Margaret Muns DVM

There are books about it and support websites to help with the grief and feelings of guilt. If any of you have lost a pet, and are finding that you feel tremendous grief and/or guilt, there are some links below that may help you. I find "The Rainbow Bridge" to be particularly comforting to read. It may sound silly but it does bring hope to my heart.

May you abide in joy one and all.

http://rainbowsbridge.com/Poem.htm

http://www.petloss.com/muns.htm

http://www.petloss.com/dealing.htm

Love from Above and Below

I had a glorious day today. As I sat to write in my Gratitude Journal my itty bitty kittie, Little Buddy, came to my feet and let out a tiny mew. I picked him up and held him like a baby in my arms. His little body offered no resistance. He flopped back and proceeded to fall into a deep sleep in the crook of my arm. Gratitude poured out of my soul and I felt a couple of joy filled tears running down my cheek. I was moved by his complete trust and I felt totally loved.

A little later on I was walking by the lake with my Beagle, Duda, and listening to a really beautiful Coldplay song, "The Speed Of Sound". The lyrics I was listening to go a little something like this:

"Birds came flying at the speed of sound to show you how it all began. Birds came flying from the underground if you could see it you would understand. When you see it you will understand."

The song and particularly these lyrics really move me. I stopped to admire the beautiful scenery with the perfect soundtrack and Duda sat at my feet. As we gazed at the beauty of the far end of the lake, where it meets the trees and sky, I felt a deep quiet joy. I imagined the birds flying out of the lake at the speed of sound to enlighten the world! I looked up at the sky where these birds would be soaring and lo and behold there was a huge cloud in the shape of a soaring bird spanning almost the entire sky. I had to step back. I felt so incredibly loved and I felt so much gratitude that I full on cried tears of utter bliss. I'm not makin' this up gang it happened.

My friends, That is one pretty fantastic day in my book. As if that was not enough, for the next couple of weeks everywhere I looked were heart shapes. The first one was a piece of old wood emerging from the melting snow. I wish I had taken a photo of that, it was stunning. Then my friend Tina was over and she pointed out a piece of stuffing from one of Duda's toys that she had unceremoniously pulled out. It was a perfect heart shape. (The photo you see above.) I only got photos of four or five of these hearts but you get the point. The heart cloud photo doesn't even capture the perfection of the heart shape when I first saw it! The funniest was the dog pee heart you see here.
Although I must say that the fried calamari heart that came to my friend Mario and I, in the marinara sauce, was also pretty stellar! I ate that heart, of course, but not before taking a photo with my phone... Crazy? Perhaps... but there is never a dull moment in this girl's life. And you can take that to the bank folks!


http://www.amazon.com/X-Y-Coldplay/

http://www.templegreen.com