Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Saying Goodbye to Mae

Years ago, when I was living in Santa Fe, I decided that I wanted to have a dog. I have a crazy parrot and he'd always been scared of other animals so I wanted to find a small dog that he could get used to more easily. I decided a Chihuahua or Chi mix would be perfect for Oscar and me so I went online and found Chihuahua Rescue and Transport. I filled out an adoption application and crossed my fingers. Shortly thereafter I received news of a scheduled visit from a CRT representative to make sure that my home was suitable for one of the rescued dogs. Two women and two Chihuahuas arrived at my home in the Spring of 2000 and one Chihuahua and two women left that day. I had not been told that they were bringing a potential dog so it was a wonderful surprise when Mae burst into my life bringing love and joy with her. The moment that she jumped out of the car she ran right to me as though she were arriving home after a long journey. The two women were flabbergasted because apparently this was not normal behavior for the dog they'd been calling "Mandy". The moment that I sat down that gorgeous little dog jumped from the floor, up into my lap and directly into my heart.

I found out that day that Mae had been found running by the side of the highway in Las Cruces, New Mexico by a kindly truck driver. Apparently she did not try to run away from the driver when he stopped to pick her up. Mae was a dog on a mission. She'd been terribly malnourished and she'd had heartworm and mange. Mae was taken in and healed of all of her maladies and then delivered to my door at the approximate age of seven and a half. Since that time she's driven across the country to NYC, she's flown to Miami, Austin, Paris and the Island of Capri in Italy. My wonderful little bean was adored by numerous people and animals all around the world.

On the morning of February 3rd, 2008, last Sunday, Mae went to the hospital and did not leave. Mae is in my heart and I take comfort in the feeling that we will most certainly meet again. I love you Mae, now and forever.

I lost my kitten, Little Buddy, almost exactly one year ago Below is an excerpt from a post I'd written at that time about dealing with pet loss;

I have found that some people do not understand the grief that I feel. "Psychologists have long recognized that the grief suffered by pet owners after their pet dies is the same as that experienced after the death of a person. The death of a pet means the loss of a non-judgmental love source." ~ Margaret Muns DVM

There are books about it and support websites to help with the grief and feelings of guilt. If any of you have lost a pet, and are finding that you feel tremendous grief and/or guilt, there are some links below that may help you. I find
"The Rainbow Bridge" to be particularly comforting to read. It may sound silly but it does bring hope to my heart.

May you abide in joy one and all.





Sue said...

I had a cat for 16 years that I just adored..it was horrendous letting him go and being the one to have to make that decision.. you are not alone. I am sorry for your loss... they are like family.

Jen Kerlin said...

Thank you Sue. I'm sorry you had to make that decision too. It is a very tough thing to have to do but I am glad that I could do it for her.
They really are family to me.
I'm sending you a comforting hug.